Sunday, December 26, 2004

"Cries the Conductor to Collect the Cash"

Today, I feel, is a day of great importance. Why? Coz I, today, for the very first time in the history of mankind's tryst with that strange species called the Bus Conductor, am going to open to u what I learnt with THREE years of hardwork and my dynamic wit!! ( Phew, that was long! )


First the introduction : There are TO (oops, I mean TWO) types of buses in Delhi :
1) the Delhi Transport Corporation
2) the Private Buses

And its the Private Buses that are the Focal Point of this discussion.

So what's so great about them?


He is the one who RUNS the Bus(iness).

And I, in these last three yrs, have learnt a thing or two about them.

First of all, they have the MAXIMUM number of GirlFriends in the city !!
Ya, however much u may gasp about that, its TRUE !!

Two, if u ever find a conductor WITHOUT a mobile phone, do check if the sun arose from the West that day!!

Three, DON'T MESS WITH THEM ! Some of them have started keeping a rod (hell ya, a ROD!) under there seats these days. And dare to believe me not, I have seen that rod hit a few legs n butts in the past yr!

Still, there are some "innocent" ways to evade this fiery monster, the Conductor! I call them TRICKS, and believe me, I've saved a lot of money (and suffered some tongue slashes too) while learning these tricks. So I am today providing u the finished product that can be easily used by anyone. But always remember one thing, HE (the conductor) is the rightful owner of the money that u r trying to evad from him, so always have respect about that man in ur heart!

TRICK 1 - "The RedLight Glitch"
Suppose u r on a Red Light and there's a bus standing that u wanna board. Now look not towards the bus but just walk from near it VERY matter-of-factly. Do NOT walk TOWARDS the bus. And very importantly, EVADE eye contact with the conductor (he will be definitely looking at you!) because he might remember ur face if he sees u directly in the eye. Then just as u r past the conductor's window, climb up the back stairs very softly and very unassumingly. Now this is the difficult thing (and requires practice), very smoothly mix up in the backside crowd while the conductor is still looking outa the window or maybe talking to someone. Stand away from conductor's view and keep looking out of some window, or u can just stare at something as if u've been staring at it since ages past! Keep in this posture for 1 min.approx and if he still doesn't call u for the ticket, then BINGO !! U r free !! Rest assured u can now wander around anywhere in the bus, its all yours !

TRICK 2 - "The CollegeGuy Glitch"
If u look like a college guy, then act like one in a bus! coz it pays!! Buswallahs and collegewallahs r like langotiya dushmans, and not just in Delhi but almost EVERYWHERE in India! Rajasthan to Haryana to Punjab, and LEAST of all in Delhi, college guys are the biggest Ticket-Evaders! So wear that attitude and board the bus VERY confidently, without much expressions on ur face. Stand somewhere very unassumingly and just don't look towards the conductor, but very importantly, DO NOT look like u'r trying to HIDE from him! And then the moment, he'll come to u n ask for ticket. That's the time all the self-congratulatory confidence will come in use at! All u've to do now is to just make an 'ishara', ki abhi utar jaoonga! Just try to be polite in ur expressions while saying this, coz that politeness impresses some of the young ones and most of the oldies! So wear cofidence and politeness together on ur face, and go for the action!

TRICK 3 - "The Majboor Act"
Now here's something to use (rather misuse) a conductor's heart and humanness. You get on a bus, stand somewhere near the conductor, and when he asks u for the ticket, start searching for money in ur bag. Now u r frantically searching for money in all the corners of ur handheld bag and ur face carries an expression like you ARE willing to pay for ur ticket at any cost! So the conductor, alright not all, but some of them DO start feeling sorry for u!! And he just might possibly let u without a ticket! (However much u may not believe that but I, for one, HAVE TRIED it, and successfully!). Please note that it helps if u have a MESSY bag!

So people, go on try out these tricks n save money for spending on a date rather than giving away 2 the BAD BAD conductor!

Wait for more from me on 'Transport Services in Delhi' in future!

Saturday, December 25, 2004

blah blah

Nothing much to write right now. Still just wasting away my time with u.

I'm alone at home from today to 28th coz everyone's gone to Rajasthan.

Waiting for ur call ...

And MERRY CHRISTMAS by the way.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

SWADES - my kinda film!!

For those unaware, I saw Swades First Day First Show (17th December), just like most other movies I see. But wait! Swades isn't "any other movie"!! Afterall, I had been waiting for it since the FIRST DAY I saw its promo on TV!!

This is a SPECIAL SPECIAL movie! And take my word for it.

I went to see it AGAIN today, right after my VMC class. And believe me, it was WORTH IT!

Anyways, I don't think its made for everyone. Those who don't like it just don't understand it! And those who say its just fine, don't understand it COMPLETELY!

There are SO SO MANY little-little ideas and scenes splattered all around the 3 hour reel time, that everyone just misses on most of the things!

Anyways, since its of no interest to u that which film I like or which I don't, it would be cruel of me to keep u bored with all this chatter! SO I STOP!!

And moving on to some more important things, know what!, yesterday at night, I felt THAT AGAIN!

Its one of those moments of enlightenment when some thought suddenly strikes u, just outa the blue! And its been real PEACE ever since! The whole day of mental turmoil just got solved in those few seconds! I am now more sure of myself, feeling so much better about each n every second that passes by! Lemme assure u, if all of it sounds unreal to you, it only means that u just haven't EXPERIENCED it yet!! Just wait till u do!! Until then keep thinking I'm a mad mad guy.

There is something else too that I think u people are now mature enough to hear!! HA HA HA!!

Guess what, its a POEM !!

Here u are then -

I wrote this for a girl I know ... (tell me if u have any guesses)


Oh! Those eyes that shone

Sometimes it happens, I feel not good
Sometimes it is that I become alone
Sometimes I delve and dive in the past
I remember then those eyes that shone

That day of summer
when she smiled at me
That day all world's
Deserts turned to Sea

We talked as we walked
And I saw the eyes that shone
There on that spot
I knew that I had grown

I could see her setting her hair
and forget the whole world
I could give it all to see again
the way she sat and curled

We had had some Bollywood moments
in those 3 most beautiful days
We had experienced the experience
of our lives, in that maze

And now when I am here
500 kilometres away and alone
I sometimes delve and dive in the past
And remember those eyes that shone

- Anup Bishnoi

I wrote this in 12th.
Post a comment if u like it.



coz u can be PROSECUTED for that!!
Intellectual Property Rights are gaining momentum these days, u know!!

Ahhh, she was the most beautiful girl I ever saw!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


Ya, bad bad Anup!


Its so disturbing now! Its so hard to write anything when u know who all are reading it !!

This blog was supposed to be my personal, and I mean PERSONAL write up, AND I, Anup Bishnoi, TOLD THEM ABOUT IT !!!!!

I didn't really anticipate it to be so difficult actually. I thought that it would be alright if someone (or EVERYONE) reads what all is going on in my mind, BUT NO !!! Its NOT !!!

It would have been OK if anyone had come here just by chance and read abt me. I would've loved that!

But NOT THIS WAY !! I mean, how can I write anything openly abt myself when I know that who's gonna read it and what's there reaction's gonna be !!

I shan't ever forgive myself for this intrusion of my OWN privacy !

Anyways, now that I've already destroyed myself, I think I can stop crying like a baby and get on to business.

OUTLOOK serves more of GOSSIP than resposible NEWS

To the newcomer, Outlook is supposedly a National News Magazine. But rather than being a responsible News Magazine, they rather try to "sensationalize" EACH and EVERY THING they care to write about.

First of all, they're just so unabashedly completely ANTI - BJP and its not so bad after all, but the real problem is that while they keep beating up Vajpayee, they JUST CAN'T spell out a negative word against Sonia Gandhi !!! I mean, it can't be so that Vajpayee is a Devil and Sonia a heavenly Angel, RIGHT !!

While I'm NOT any kind of Pro-BJP (or Anti-CONGRESS either) but it still irks me so much that most of what they write is about BJP alone and all the little there is about Congress, its just always so SO POSITIVE, while the BJP is just a bunch of opportunists, u know !!

Stopping it here (coz I can KEEP ON writing about it for ever and ever) and more importantly, my mom's boiling now coz its 11:00 PM !!

Bye for now

Monday, December 20, 2004


Hi again,

I had a VMC class today. After the class, I went to the Metro train to see the new Underground Section that had been started for the public today.

And GOSH!! It was a marvel !! Just like the underground Metros I had seen in English movies!

I tried to understand how the train turned back from Kashmiri Gate, I solved half the problem myself but had to ask the Guard there for the complete solution.

U know, the Metro this time has really tried to prevent ppl from misusing their token's time validity. I'll explain, what some ppl do is that they take a Rs.6 token (the minimum possible) and go to some other station far far away, then change their platform from there and come back to the same station within the 75 minutes time limit for token expiry.

But now in the Underground Section, there are several guards present along the walking corridors to prevent ppl from changing their platforms.

But, know what, I found a glitch !! Ya, there's a seriously stupid glitch in the whole system. At the DU station (called 'VishwaVidyalaya'), there is a lift right where u get down from the station, get on the lift and, lo and behold, it opens in the corridor which is the WAY towards the other platform !! Just walk down with the crowd and there u are !! Right at the opposite platform !! Easily ride on the train that comes ur way now and get anywhere u want !

But BEWARE : Do remember the time limit (75 minutes) !!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Just another day

Nothing much happened today,

- woke up at 10 AM
- kept thinking of sitting for studying but TV Computer duo ensured that I don't
- sachin called, told me tat BITS Pilani was holding Entrance Exams!
- Checked out yesterday's HT to see that he was indeed true, and to my own disgust, it WASN'T for DROPPERS !!! Now, HOW RUDE IS ThAT?
- Anyways, lost a precious amount of time checking the same on Internet
- Finally just got so bored with everything that I actually decided to get down to study. ( 3 PM )
- As expected of me, that was not to be so. I rather went down to play Cricket (after a long long time ! ) and then went to the Library to get the latest INDIA TODAY, got a new mp3 Song CD, reached home and it was already 8:30 (PM ofcourse!)
- Read half of the India Today, TV took away another half an hour, and here I am writing off my whole day.

Just another day, I would say.

Monday, December 13, 2004

IIT form submitted !

I submitted my IIT form today, people!

Went to IIT, to JEE office there, waited for an HOUR in the line, and finally, got the Acknowledgment Card.

Regular affair, u would say! But NO !!! It was NOT !! coz it was IIT !!

Not gettin' into my cribbings abt not getting through in '04, I shall now straight forward get into my books and bury my head in the Rotation Chapter till my head spins so fast that it starts emanating (emanating? what's that? It means EMITTING, duffer! ) ... continuing ... it starts emanating ElectroMagetic Waves and I go into a trans-like state when I won't even remember the name of my gf, and then I would someday die in the wilderness of this lonely planet that inhabits me!

Until then, keep crying (coz that's important too, u know! )
and keep breathing (even more important)

Sunday, December 12, 2004

CHIP is the best !

I read CHIP magazine today, and MIND BLOWING!

This is the complete Computer Magazine that's got the Best Value for Money.

I rented it from a News Stand yesterday night (maybe that's illegal!) and that too for a meagre Rs.20/day ! (The magazine is for Rs.100 by the way !) I must confess I'm elated! It's got two CDs, a DVD and even a supplementary booklet inside !

As for the rest, I didn't study today (as usual!)

Future plans : Going to go to IIT Delhi to submit IIT forms tommorrow.

Friday, December 10, 2004