Friday, November 07, 2008
But I do love him, I'm sure
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
The Story Of The Fucking Asshole
Friday, August 15, 2008
good life
of a calm, meaningful pace
that seems to nod to me and say
'keep walking, you're on your way'
living by living high
away in the lights
killing lonelier nights
trotting one step a time
walking without rhyme
for a reason is no more
for i hit a closed door
and i breathe in its fresh paint
and die every breath i take
so there's this friend that i trust
who gets my sanity go bust
so i can laugh out loud again
in the oblivion of insane
when the people leave the way
fearing whatever i may
do or to them say
like i'm really not ok
while i balance and stumble
and incoherently mumble
while explosions in my head
smear its insides red
i am stuck i am stuck
i am stuck deep in this muck
why, i just ran out of luck
no, maybe just made it all up
wait, i might just have been lying
no way, i'm really dying
right, dying for no one's smile
and dying under a pile
of self-made stupid dreams
that, rightly, now it seems
are so long starved and dead
for they were only in my head
and my own head, this
rotten bas..tard, is
killing itself now pushing the blame
to those who never did claim
that there was ever a point at all
that there was ever a dent on the wall
and shrugged and walked away
and left no more to say
.
.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
The Theory of the Unconventional
I’ll try to keep it short (which basically means its going to be long. I’ll try nevertheless)
1. Rather than ‘being’ unconventional, its about discovering whether you are. Mishra’s right, it should not be forceful. For you won’t be ‘discovering’ then, only trying to ‘be’ (unconventional). But on the other hand, it should not be constrained either! For then you’re only trying hard to be conventional, not discovering. So don’t push yourself, and don’t pull yourself. Let loose. Break free. Float. Free fall.
2. If you, as you say, don’t know whether your life is on autopilot, then it definitely is. Making decisions is a conscious thing. You don’t do it in your sleep.
3. “Disturb yourself”. These are not my exact words you bastard. kuch bhi bolega! Anyway, what you mean by it is probably what I meant by whatever I said. And so this one deserves further clarification. Here goes:
I love climbing down the stairs. Climbing up is easy and conventional, there are only so many ways (some 3 or 4) you can do it. But climbing down is more freedom, for you can do it in a lot more ways and also its easier. Now why I like climbing down is actually because of what I do with it. And what I do with it is, I Let Loose. I let my body have a near free fall and then try to control the mess! Take huge jumps, skip 5 6 or more steps, land with a thud on a step and so on, and yet be safe at all times. This trying-to-steer-an-out-of-control-system is the fun part for me. And the final landing on the ground, I try to make it as much as I can, a fitting finale. In dark contrast, climbing down one step at a time, is lame as lame can be.
Now this, is what I meant by disturbing yourself. This is what Joker meant by introducing anarchy. BUT, there is a stark difference. A difference that makes all the difference. That I am introducing anarchy in only my own life, so that it only affects me, and kills only my own boredom. Whereas the Joker is taking with him the whole world for a ride. Which is sick, in my opinion.
4. The fourth, the last, and probably the most important point of this point-list by me is what will make this whole discussion futile (seemingly so, for I don’t think anything at all, ever, is futile).
The over-hyped point, thus, is this:
Everything, when sampled for a large enough population, becomes a Normal Curve. (I don’t know whether this statement is true, but I’ve never found a conflict). People of the world, too, seem to fit into this. Imagine a bell (normal) curve, where people beyond the 95% (or whatever) mark on the right form the minority, and everyone on their left is the majority.
Most of the people on this planet (the majority) are average, and conventional. And that should not surprised anyone, for that is the definition of ‘average’ and ‘conventional’. A few of them, though, are not so (the minority). They’re unconventional. Now when the chance comes, it is these unconventional people (whether they know they’re so or not is immaterial) who will not chain themselves for fear of being unconventional.
It is now possible, and happens all the time, that during the journey of his life, a person shifts from the minority to the majority (which is mostly because he became stagnant and not-interesting and the world caught up to him, thus engulfing him into the majority). Also, a lot of new borns are landing onto the planet. And as they grow, fall into the Normal Curve of Interestingness. The curve may shift to the right (towards more interesting) if the new borns turn out to be more intelligent and interesting, or to the left if otherwise. Now, though the curve has shifted, the precious statement still holds true that those beyond the 95% (or whatever) mark will be called unconventional and those to their left are again, conventional. Thus, at all times, the world has a given percentage (that will not change substantially) of the weirdos, even though the people making up those percentages may shift places.
And thus, it is wrong and futile to try to make the whole world unconventional, or to be unhappy (as you say I am) with the fact that everyone in the world is normal. I am not doing either of these. I’m only saying, discover yourself. Don’t tie your hands. Don’t have limits. Don’t live under the weight of what they tell you you are. Knowing fully well, that those who’re unconventional, will listen to me and those who are normal, just won’t get it.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Song of her life
PART1
She wanted to visit
that world in her dreams.
She wanted to breathe
in that scented air.
She needed a long big
lungful of freedom.
She wanted a hand
to filter through her hair.
She always thought
of a long windy beach.
She dreamed of mermaids
and waves and a moon.
She had bright white wings
in her dreams one and all.
And her flowered fearless dreams
always ended way too soon.
Bu when she woke up,
what she saw,
just wasn't half
what she had seen.
The rowdy world
just seemed so raw
... compared to
where she'd been.
She always tried
to look excited.
Always tried to
beam at people.
But she'd seen
a purer form,
yeah she'd touched
a smoother petal.
She seemed to throw
a gazeless gaze.
She seemed to float
just inches above.
She used to unnerve
approaching guys
and she looked not
made for love.
Irony,
at so many levels.
She was living
two different lives.
She opened, in one,
her wings with flourish.
In other,
she barely survives.
PART 2
She did try hard,
yes she did, to keep faith.
She had let open her soul,
to a stranger from this world.
She had let the two worlds merge
she had let him enter hers.
She had loved like none ever did.
She had let her world unfurl.
Those were moments
never forgotten,
but those were
only in her mind.
It was she who
lived alone,
through the love and
later, the grind.
He had, in his
heart of hearts,
never experienced
her dreams.
Hand in hand
they were, yes,
yet present in
different realms.
The hands then
grew apart,
their fingers never
touched again.
For a moment she held
the wet in her palms,
yes,
her eyes did rain.
She saw that blank
smile one day,
his hand held
someone's hands again.
He was happy as much
as he knew to be.
She, as much she knew,
bore pain.
She knew
she was wrong to remorse.
She had nothing
on him to blame.
The guilt was
hers to have trusted.
Him and her lover
weren't same.
PART 3
She grew up
as before,
with her secret
dichotomy.
Yes she had
her share of men,
as her womanhood's
testimony.
She kissed
but never felt,
her heart would
never melt.
She touched
and was touched,
but only
as deep as her pelt.
She loved none,
she hated none.
She wandered
alone in nights.
For the fear of
seeing those dreams
of mountains,
skies and kites.
But then one day,
as it had to happen.
One day
she stumbled and fell.
Fell onto something
that wrenched her heart,
those words
that formed a spell.
She read it
full and through
with eyes
abnormally unblinking.
It was her life,
she'd thought it all before,
she didn't
need to be thinking.
Someone thought just
as she did,
she wasn't
alone it seems.
She searched for the man
who wrote this poem
and talked of the
world of her dreams.
.
Monday, May 12, 2008
The Ghost of the Scooty
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
ghut-ta hun aag mein apne hi dahekte badan ki
mein ho panchi-dehen
aise jalti pawan
mein aatur mera man
jaise sholon mein
tadpe chingari
aisi hai aag mere
yaar ki yaari
jaise dube ho machli
gehri ganga mein
aise tadpe hai man,
man ki hud-danga mein
Thursday, April 10, 2008
dilwa dance maare re (lyrics - tashan)
dilwa beating fast sasura dance maare re
arre..
white white face dekhe
dilwa beating fast sasura dance maare re
hohooo... white white face dekhe!
haan..
white white face dekhe
dilwa beating fast sasura chance maare re
ho very
ho very
oho very happy in my heart dil dance maare re
[very happy in my heart dil dance maare re]
dil dance maare dance maare, dil ye dance maare!
oye happy in my heart dil dance maare re
oye cast off my feet!
cast off my feet julamwa!
kare hai jalim beat
haye cast off my feet julamwa
kare hai jalim beat
kadakti heat mein ban ja dheett
nainan se nain mila le
baat dil ki na chupa re
ho aaja mujhko tu bata de
ho very happy happy happy
ho very happy in my heart dil dance maare re
[very happy in my heart dil dance maare re]
o dil dance maare dance maare dil ye dance maare
oye happy in my heart dil dance maare re
oooo rose ke jaisan pink pink
hamre gaal gulabi
sky ki jaisan blue blue
ee tohra nain sarabi
bhola chehra jaise moon
kali zulfein jaise cloud
ab na aur chupaya jaye
dhadkan hoyi gayi very loud
[ho dhadkan hoyi gayi very loud]
[dhadkan hoyi gayi very loud]
hayee...
tohra dil ka dhadkan maaaa
tohra dil ka dhadkan maa
dil diwana booking
advance maare reeeee
haan..
hamre dil ka theatre maa
dil diwana booking
advance maare reee
o very!
o very!
o very happy in my heart dil
dance maare re!
[very happy in my heart dil dance maare re]
o dil dance maare dance maare
dil ye dance maare
oye happy in my heart dil
dance maare re
white white face dekhe
dilwa beating fast sasura
dance maare re
hooo..
white white face dekhe...
white white face dekhe
dilwa beating fast sasura
dance maare re
o very!
o very!
o very happy in my heart dil dance maare re!
[very happy in my heart dil dance maare re]
o dil dance maare dance maare
dil ye dance maaare
oye happy in my heart dil dance maare re!!!
very very happy in my heart dil dance maare re!
:
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
aaj bhi na aya koi
aaj bhi na aankhen royi
fir aaj raahein khali thi
aaj bhi sukhi dali thi
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
linked lists
profs, pissed, pink floyd, perl, peace
learning
observe, remember, rewind, analyse, understand
love
complaints, provoked, think, conclude, silence
Monday, March 24, 2008
na sata mujhe
na sata mujhe
na bata mujhe
kya hota tha
kya hota hai
na yad dila
na ghut pila
tu aansu ke
dil rota hai
na badlunga
na ab lunga
ehsan tere
farmaan tere
ja ho naraaz
ya de awaz
kuch waqt to aur
ye hona hai
fir tujhe zarurat na hogi
fir meri zarurat kya hogi
fir kehna tab dekhunga main
man mein mera bhi kona hai
.
jaise dil hi na ho
jaise dil hi na ho
jaise ruh khali
jaise bhaav hon gum
par man sawali
jaise sun na saku
jaise nazar nahi
jaise chunti kaatu
par asar nahi
aise khalipan se
jaise bhara hua
jaise saans chale
par mara hua
.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
bhedo ki bheed
deewarein rakhe dimago mein
firte hain sadko raho mein
aankhein hai par nazrein nahi
chahatein rakhe salakhon mein
anjan hain wo beiman nahi
icchha hai par armaan nahi
kisi lau ki koi chamak nahi
andhera bhara hai aankhon mein
bachkane se hridayvan mein
beintaha khalipan mein
panape hai zindagi in sabki
bandhi khud hi ke dhaago mein
aakaar to lo vistaar to lo
kuch karne ka vichaar to lo
khade hain bas ek kataar main
mar chuki hai dhun sab raagon mein
na hasi hai unke thahakon mein
na karah unki aahon mein
bas hath baandh kar yu apne
chal pade allah ki panahon mein
.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
ab meri har raat suhani hai
ab meri har raat suhani hai,
ab mera ye jism jawani hai,
teri sari sunni hain baatein
ab mujhe har baat batani hai
ab meri har saans rawani hai
ab meri duniya deewani hai
ab meri aankhon mein khushi aur
ab meri aankhon mein pani hai
teri tasveer banani hai
mujhe wo dil mein chupani hai
kahin bhi jau to le jau
aisi saugat sajani hai
maana ye duri to aani hai
maana beraham kahani hai
wahi dur se sun jaye tujhe
basuri ki aisi dhun bajani hai
jane tu jane ke na jani hai
ye dhadkan jo tufani hai
ise tere pyar ko pana hai
ye tere pyar ne pani hai
.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
do mukam
pane ko betaab yun hain.
lalachi kamzoriyan,
danav wo benaqaab kyu hain
yun kabhi ehsaas tha hua
pa liye jaise hon manzil
par mukam tha akela
kyuki mera dil tha buzdil
gir ke jhuk ke yu kisi ke
pairo pad ke paye wo kya
manzil hai dono ko pana
ek ko paye ho to kya
koshishon se ek din fir
chot kha, sabko hara kar
duja mukaa bhi aya to hai
par jo dekha, sir ghuma kar
pehli manzil chhod di hai
wapas kahi wo ja khadi hai
ye bhala kya zulm maula
ye bhala kaisi ghadi hai
pa sakenge ek ko hi
pate hi duji hai kho rahi
jane ye rishta hai kaisa
ye jo mil jaye to wo nahi
haarne girne ke mausam
to nahi lautenge par ab
ja lute manzil meri ya
chahe lut bhi jaye ghar ab
paunga jo paunga to
sath hi dono mukam
na jo paye, kar guzar
jayenge sab hi ko salaam
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
perl script to block comment in perl scripts (including itself :P )
commentscript
a script to comment/uncomment blocks in perl scripts
save this executable perl script in any folder that is included in PATH, or in ~/bin (which is already there in PATH). (and also make sure it is executable if it somehow doesnt work)
Usage: commentscript perlscriptname
where perlscriptname is the... make a wild guess... yip, the script containing the block that you want commented.
Description:
In any perl script, to comment blocks of code, put a block (a collection of consecutive lines, nothing more) between ## and ## (they should both be at the start of a line), and run this script on it (by passing perlscriptname as a command-line argument).
To uncomment, change both the ##'s to ##! and run this script on perlscriptname again.
Example:
print "hi. ";
##
print "hah.";
print " blah hash";
##
print "hash functions are cool";
changes to
print "hi. ";
##
# print "hah.";
#
# print " blah hash";
##
print "hash functions are cool";
and
print "hi. ";
##!
# print "hah.";
#
# print " blah hash";
##!
print "hash functions are cool";
changes to
print "hi. ";
print "hah.";
print " blah hash";
print "hash functions are cool";
ps - for extra safety, the script also makes a backup copy of the original perlscriptname by the name of perlscriptname.backup in the folder that the script (commentscript) is run from.
psst - comments, bug reports, and additional feature requests are... as ever... most welcome.
Monday, March 10, 2008
killprog - handy bash script to kill hung up processes
save this file in your ~/bin/ folder
usage: killprog [program1] [program2] ...
examples:
killprog vlc
killprog firefox
killprog vlc firefox
ps - if it doesnt work, make sure it is an executable.
chmod +x killprog
comments, bug reports, and additional feature requests are welcome :P