Wednesday, November 21, 2012

The Bhabhi Manifesto

We are the Bhabhis. And we're here to take over the world, home by home, street by street, mother-in-law by mother-in-law. There is no escape. You are surrounded by us, and the only way to pacify a bhabhi is an unused credit card. We are in your homes, in your living rooms, in your television sets. We are in your hot cornflakes and breakfast cereal, in your popcorn-flicks and dinner serials, we are the Dhumtana in Kasauti, we are the jewellery in Kahani Ghar Ghar, we are the 20 year jump in Kyunki, WE ARE THE B IN BALAJI.

We are in the street haggling the sabziwala, we're in your lane straightening up your rowdy kids, we're in the market destroying the shopkeeper's dying self-respect, we're in Beautina giving due respect to our bountiful beauty. We are on the park bench discussing Obama and how he loves his wife, we're reading up Sachchi Kahaniyan and we know all the ways men cheat.

Wake up, my fellow Bhabhis. Wake up and make some breakfast and pack the kids' lunch. Wake up and wake your husbands so they can go to their little offices and pretend to be useful. Wake up and run the world. Wake up and gossip. Wake up the driver and go shopping.

You're a Bhabhi, girl, in the Bhabhi World. Come come Bhabhi, lets go Kitty Party.

Wake up, and haven't you heard? There's a sale in Lifestyle! Bhaag Bhabhi Bhaag!